You've Got To Be Yourself

Do you find it a bit annoying when people ask, "What do you do?" as if what you do to earn a living defines the whole of YOU? I do.

Your authentic self is not a train driver, a solicitor, or a builder.

Do you also find it a bit irritating when other people ask where you live, as if a house on a street or a flat in a complex somehow defines who you are? Is a flat in a complex less worthy than a house on a street?

How about when someone asks who your partner is, or your mum, dad, brother, sister? Do your relationships define you?

Has anybody summed you up purely on your possessions. "Ooh, she has a Chanel handbag, and it's a REAL one!"

Your authentic self is who you are at your deepest level, your core. Being authentic means being true to yourself. You do this by being true to your thoughts, words, and actions, and having these three match each other.

When we aren't in touch with our authentic self, it is extremely easy to go into 'people pleasing' mode and behave in a way that we think is expected of us or based on social pressure or peer pressure. Do you find yourself saying and doing things because you think you should rather than what you want to say and do?

For example, the next time someone asks you in passing, "Hi, how are you?" Really think about your answer, don't just airily declare " Yeah, great, how are you?" Instead, ask yourself, ' Am I great? Could I be just 'fine' or actually a bit fed up." It's a simple interaction, but it's an easy moment to be people pleasing and give an empty answer.

It's a huge challenge to stay true to your authentic self, especially today when we are bombarded with images of perfect lives, homes, bodies. 

Deep inside we know that these are just images, it's just not possible that the images, the words, the lifestyles are a real reflection of a life. Everyone must go to the loo, has an unruly hair day, gets a big ugly cold sore, wakes up in a foul mood. These snapshots are not of authentic lives well lived. 

When we are authentic, we stay true to ourselves, we are being vulnerable, we show our good parts and our bad parts and even those parts we are unsure of.

It's not easy to be at one with your authentic self, you may think that people won't like you, or accept you, they might judge you, your feelings might get hurt.

Living a life of authenticity is an effort, it's easier to hide behind a facade, you know, the staged images, the perfect relationship, blissful babies that never cry, mums that sleep. But when we do live our authentic lives, we allow for more intimate and honest relationships, people respect us for who we truly are, in social situations we represent our true self rather than someone we're not.

Life becomes more interesting, more real.

celia.turner@hotmail.co.uk